I used to run. I want to run. Or sprint intervals. Or jog. Or speedwalk. Is mall walking still a thing?
Anyway, like I was saying, I used to run. It was 2009 and in a year I lost weight, got my fat to 23% and could squeeze breathlessly into size 6 jeans. And I could not see myself in reality. I saw myself as continuing obesity with no hope of whatever unrealistic goals I had. Then came the pressure headaches. My Dr did blood work and freaked out at my low cholesterol and triglycerides. she sent me to an endocrinologist. They had me stop running completely and I fell into some serious depression. After thousands of dollars in testing they discovered my dangerously low cholesterol was genetic and I needed to increase my animal fat/protein to get it to acceptable and safe levels.
I gave up. I slowly gained 35 pounds over the next several years. My cholesterol is fine now but now my motivation is dangerously low. Over the last 4 years I've stopped/started Crossfit too many times to count. Major illness and 2 surgeries later I just feel overwhelmed at times. Most times.
Currently, I'm doing Crossfit 3-4x/week and started back again last November. Since then I've been so happy with my progress and doing very well when, WHAMMO! I had a head on collision with Esophagitis.
After spending the night of July 4th in the ER with my sister and daughter helping me to stay alive by reminding me to breathe, and it not being a heart attack, I was sent home with proton pump inhibitors (no idea) and other meds. I was also overdosed on Ativan and Dilaudid. That was fun. I'm apparently hilarious when drugged. My daughter has the videos to prove it.
For the next 3 weeks I couldn't eat any meat or other foods that couldn't fit through a fat straw. I lived on baby food squeeze packets and protein shakes. A regular human would have likely lost weight. The endomorph that I am is so gifted, I gained weight! All carbs all day is not a weight loss plan for me.
I will have an endoscopy on Sept 1 to rule out scary shit and survey any damages from the crazy flood of acid eating away at my esophagus. I'll post pictures, of course.
Meanwhile I'm working to get back to my scheduled macros and to Crossfit. I have lots of reasons/excuses to not say "fuck off" to all the things getting in my way. It's hard to say yes to myself. I'm getting there. Also, I hurt in lots of middle-aged places. I see physical therapy 1-2xweek just to maintain. It's a life changer, fo sho.
That's my long winded update of shitty shit that's getting in my way. I have a long history of "if it can go wrong, it will" which I'm challenging daily.
Bring it on fuckers...I'm ready. I think.
My thick thighs...and PT-taped foot to try to help my 15mo long plantar fasciitis. It's working.
